Wednesday 17 October 2012

Women who want to get married? where are the men?

My sister Nehad is great in matching girls to boys and letting them get married, and almost all of the introductions had succeeded, barring one I guess, still we have to wait for that fluke to be corrected.  I think if one have complete knowledge about the girl and also complete knowledgte about the boy, one can easily make the introduction and hope for the best.  Of course there should be an agreement on the outset that both girl and boy actually want to get married.  However is this how it should work? our society is not a very marriage-friendly society, I would say this with absulute certainty, as there are no methods of letting girls and boys who match each other meet. So most of our marriages fail, because these couple met in the wrong place and also becuase they havent studied each other well (due to reliegious restirctions and many other restirictions).

Marriage is a great institution, I am all for marriage, its the town that one can feel relaxed in, have a conversation with a lovely perrson in, be at ease when it comes to body needs, have the fruits of life (children) and of course prepare these fruits to embark on life challenges with comfort.  But getting in the huge gates of this town, and understanding its pitfalls and problems as well as its fortunes and happiness is a big ask.  We are limited to people like my sister, who cannot possibly know everybody.  I attempted this once, and it failed miserably. In actual fact, I should be a good source for letting couples know about each other in preparation for marriage, but of course I dont have the time, nor the inclination to bear the circumstnces.

I am in England as I write this, and last night on TV, they had an advert on dating, I thought about it for a bet (those two seconds before my eye closes and goes into the sleep city) I think it will be a great idea to have something like that in our country. A safe place where girls profile themselves in a correct way, put their likes and dislikes and their wishes and hopes, their philosophy of what life should be, how they want to raise their kids, which countries they want to go to for holiday, what sort of house they want to live in, the style of furniture, the dishes they like to eat and so on and so forth.  On the other hand we do a similar profile for boys, so they can discuss football, the number of times they like to go for sheesha in a week, the type of work they like to do, the number of kids they like to have and so on and so forth.  We mustn't forget also that both boys and girls should have the intention to get married.  Then we match that and make them meet their mates.  We must have safe places for meetings with adult supervision!! just to avoid misnaming the site into a cheap relationships that no one wants to talk about. There should be many meetings and once the total agreements happen then the contract gets signed.  The couple pay the rest of their fees (having paid an advance when they registered) and the wedding arrangements will start.

Something like this can work, but it requires a lot of capital, as we will need to have psychaiatrists, marriage counsellors, social workers, admin people, IT people, advertising and promotions; Also we must have an industry that will attach itself to this company, like the wedding dresses, the wedding planners, the jewelery people, the accessories, the wedding gifts (or th emarriage register as they call it) the favours that are distributed at the wedding. 

If my sistete for example wants to start such a company, then she may need the capital to start the company, if she goes to a bank, they will ask her for a business plan??? ok, now preparing a business plan for a wedding arrangment company may not be that easy, as its unheard of, however if she is in UK for example, she can do that easily!! also say she had the money to start, she needs a licenses?? what will she call this business? with the ecconomic department entertain her request? is there actually such a business?

In the old age we had something called "Khattaba" or marriage proposer, a woman who is trusted in the community, and who has an album (a brown bag with some pictures) in her tatty handbag, and who goes to houses and introduces the girl or the boy to the family.  She didnt need money to do this, nor did she need a license.  But this is ages ago, can we we start a website called Khattaba? I guess so! as we are living in a time where everything is possible.

Please, for those that are going to read my blog and like to start such company, call me first, as I didn't put all my thought on how it will succeed. You do'nt want to start something that may not work.
This blog is a gift to my two young friends who are not married and all the others that didn't get married. and those that got married to the wrong people or got married to the right people and then those right people changed.

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