I am so confused

The other day we were just chilling at a place, and there was a visitor. She is a normal woman, that talks and travels and has all the social media, but divorced, has kids, the ex husband is a miser and hence the divorce, she lost her mum, and her brother.  Both were looking after her before their death, and they tried to help her as much as possible, bought her a flat, and gave her living money.  You look at her and you see a strong person who can tackle the world, but you hear her talk and you think oooh, poor thing.  I do not like to gossip about people, but it was the first time that I misjudged a person, I thought to myself why is she behaving in this way? she is strong and can work instead of depending on charity. To me a charity is only for those that are really unable to do anything in their life. But I understand now.

To some women, having a husband is like having a shield, its a protection of some sort, without that shield some people will just loose all aspects of realities in life.  I think she cannot work because she feels vulnerable, and the eyes of the monsters in this world may attack her, so she would rather take the charity money and sty home, she defended this subject by saying that its a gift from God so why refuse it.I tol her that there maybe other people that need that charity money? she said, I need it too.

On the other hand I met other women who are doing marvelous things for this world, and are trying their best to leave a legacy behind them, many of them may have had some problems, may have lost their families, or their husbands, but that didn't stop them from thriving in this life. So not all women are the same.  I know of many stories were husbands had left their wives and married other women, but it didn't deter the wives from completing their journey in this life and creating wonder.  I may understand the point of view of our visitor and can sympathize with her, but I feel that it is my duty to shed some light on the various possibilities in life and on how she can create instead of depending on others in order to live.  I feel that women in general are born with a self fulfilling prophecy, we manage to create and help, did we forget that we carried kids in our stomach for nine months? isn't that the most wonderful thing??

I am not one of those motivators who can inspire, but after the talk that I had with that woman, I wish I can say something to her that can inspire her to be something important in this life time.